Victoria Marriage Counselling Services - How to Get the Most Out of Your Couples Counselling

How To Get the Most Out of Your Couples Sessions


Desire is at the top of the list. If you have a sincere desire to create a better marriage and/or relationship, and are willing to commit your time and effort, you can get back on track.

1. Make the Decision

Ambiguity is confusing. When we aren’t clear about making a plan to improve our relationship, it’s easy to drift along just hoping that things will improve, or hoping someone else will do the work for us.  Once you’ve decided to take action you have begun to lay the foundation for the work ahead. It’s like gardening – before you can plant you need to make a plan: prepare the soil, choose the seeds, select the location, and do the rest with love, time, and intention.

2. Commit to a time period

Commit to at least 5 Sessions. Couples may experience problems for years, and then hope that 1 or 2 sessions will get them where they want to go. Yes, a start can be made in early sessions, and dependent upon your level of commitment to reading, and doing relationship exercises and homework, you can make remarkable progess in the beginning. To stick with the sessions beyond that initial improvement takes dedication. Give yourselves a chance to practice your new skills – creating openness, intimacy, honesty, and trust – the stuff that will take you into later years  - where a truly deeper union can arise.

3. Create a budget

Decide what you are willing to pay. The things that enrich and benefit our lives often cost money. We will pay for restaurant meals, romantic getaways, flowers, and gifts – hoping that these things will improve our relationships. They can be very pleasant diversions, but what most of us want in a relationship is CONNECTION. A professional can guide you in the right direction – helping you set the stage for doing the things that work, and letting the things that don’t work slide away. If you place a high value on your relationship, setting aside a portion of your budget to improving it is one of the greatest gifts you can give each other.

4. Get clear

Think about what it is you want from your sessions. Where do things go wrong? What do you envision as the best relationship possible? What are your values and desires? Get clear about what it is that touches you and excites you about your time together. Write out your values – trust, honesty, devotion, communication, empathy, faith….

Think about the things that help you act on your values – laughing together, giving a gentle touch, offering tokens of appreciation, praising each other, sharing the burden, bestowing and receiving sincere hugs and kisses, doing small acts of service, saving time for yourself (alone time), celebrating achievements large and small, complimenting, and noticing each other’s efforts.

5. Give it all you’ve got!

Once you’ve made the promise to work together, give it a sincere effort. Trying half-heartedly, offering to see “if it will work”, and agreeing in a superficial way, (while actively entertaining suspicions and resentments) are ways of sabotaging your success. If you want to make a relationship succeed you need to give with all of your body, heart, and mind.

Act now –

call Caron to ask about setting up the perfect couples package.